As a First Responder Mental Health Advocate and former police officer, I feel the need to get this off my chest. It has been such a difficult few weeks for my husband (also a retired police officer) and I. We are absolutely devastated by George Floyd’s death, furious at the police officers involved, and heart-broken for the good officers that are being painted with the same brush.
I was a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for over twenty-five years. I lived in six different provinces, moved nine times, served both urban and rural communities while working alongside many other police forces including municipal, provincial, military and correction officers. There were so many honest, kind and caring officers that either gave their lives or put them on the line, to protect others.
George Floyd’s video is sickening and there is no other way to describe it. The video keeps playing over and over in my head, the sound of his voice saying he couldn’t breathe and his cries for his mother. Chauvin’s (and the other officers) disregard for human life, no matter what Floyd had done previously, is pathetic. The self-righteous, egotistical, self-satisfied look on his face just made it that much worse to watch. I am seething!
There was also a huge knot forming in my stomach; a knot still sitting with me as I write this. That knot is the fear I hold for the thousands of officers still working at this exact moment, still putting on the uniform to go to work, still hoping to come home after shift, still praying their communities will trust them. That knot is for the officer’s families that hold their collective breaths, as they share their loved ones with the rest of us, so we can still stay safe in this chaos.
I ask of you again, please, please don’t paint us all with the same brush. Know that nobody hates a power hungry, arrogant police officer more than another police officer. Know that we are also angry, fed-up, and frustrated. Know that we acknowledge there needs to be change and conversation. We are crying with you, kneeling with you, peacefully marching with you and will still run in to protect you, if things get out of hand.
To the media; your role is to be independent, professional, report all facts and stimulate conversation, from different perspectives. I can’t say how disappointed I am in all of you. On Bell Let’s Talk Day, everyone supports the First Responders, the police in particular, acknowledging what an incredibly difficult job we have. We are thanked, even sometimes appreciated. Where are you now? Where are all of the community leaders?
Not one media outlet has commented on or carried an article on the importance of remembering that most police officers are good people, that love serving and protecting their communities. Better yet, ask us how we are doing or how are our families are doing? We are suffering the consequences of this terrible act as well. Acknowledging this, having this conversation, doesn’t take away from the shock, or anger or importance of the peaceful protests and responses to Floyd’s death. In fact, it provides us with another lens through which to see the devastating impacts these unchecked behaviours can have on everyone.
To those of you who are using this incident to incite violence and hate, both injuring and killing police officers, you are self serving cowards.
To my policing family, please don’t become discouraged. Know that what you do still matters. Know that there are thousands of people that support and love you. Please, reach out to those around you if you, your children or families are struggling.
To everybody; please remember you need to support Black Lives Matter but please remember the good First Responders at the same time. We all need to work together to bring about positive change.
